As a young professional embarking on my journey, experiences working as an intern for some market-leading companies, and my current role with NAC, I have realised that emotional intelligence is far more essential and revered than ever anticipated. My experiences incited me to look back at some of my favourite management and business scholars to understand what the modern business leader looks for when it comes to emotional intelligence. Interestingly, looking for answers lead me to more questions. Perhaps the best description was Dr Robert Cooper, who eloquently said: “It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart overhead — it is the unique intersection of both.”
This struck me to introspect about my emotional intelligence and my capacity surrounding it. I was often told, especially as a male, that my brain won’t be fully mature until I am at least 27. While I could have seen this as a weakness or, worse, an excuse for complacency surrounding my emotional, intellectual growth, my observations and experiences made me realise it’s, in fact, quite the opposite. It is an opportunity.
You might be asking yourself, an opportunity for what? Well, to get ahead. This brings me to Dr Carol Dweck, the champion of growth mindset and whose theories I believe foster the chance to learn more about myself, get ahead of the professional pack, and ultimately become more emotionally intelligent.
Dr Dweck said when asked about the growth mindset that ‘when people had more of a growth mindset, they believed that talents and abilities could be developed and that challenges were the way to do it. Learning something new, something hard, sticking to things—that’s how you get smarter.’
As described by Dr Ben Palmer, emotional intelligence on a fundamental level is a science that has demonstrated that emotional intelligence can be taught and developed with time and training. It is not fixed and is a skill that can be improved.
The link to me became apparent. Growing my mind doesn’t just sharpen my professional skills; it sharpens my emotional skills, which is a link we should be set on using as a weapon of development. For us to develop our emotional intelligence, we need to remember and accept key elements from Dweck. Emotional intelligence isn’t fixed; it is an ability and skill that can be developed. Our focus should be on learning and improving and not merely performing. Our level of achievement should not be limited by our current skillset but rather should evolve with us. We should embrace new challenges and use resilience to overcome them. Encourage and be curious about feedback from peers and leaders and use it to better ourselves. Risk should be met with tolerance and open-mindedness, no objection or worry. Finally, above all, remember that failing doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you one step closer to success.
In closing, we should realise that maturity and emotional intelligence isn’t a question of your biology; it’s a question of your attitude—a question on your intangibles. Emotional intelligence doesn’t stop when your body stops; it stops when your mind stops. It’s a skill, not a certainty, and like all skills, it can be improved, and how you do it is up to you, but I believe Dweck has laid out the perfect recipe and we should be ready to use it.
My fascination with emotional intelligence isn’t likely to wane; my experiences have solidified the emphasis for it to grow. In the words of Hemmingway, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
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